Why is it when you're super happy people think you're weird or that there's something wrong with you (In a MeNtAl way)? I've been walking around this afternoon with a big smile, just enjoying life, appreciating the little things. Like, new purple and white crocus that are blooming outside the civic centre, or the pigeons doing their little mating dances in them :)
I guess sometimes you just have to look at the bigger picture. Take a look a round you and look at how beautiful everything really is, and all your problems can seem irrelevant, even if it's only for a little while. Everything just fades to the background. I love my ipod for that. Giving me my soundtrack as I walk down the street. It really does make me happy. So does peanut butter. Yum.
:D
I hope everyone can look at one thing today, that they may not have noticed before, and smile, and be thankful that not all of the beauty is gone from this world. Fight to save it :)
xx
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
My head was in the clouds, now the clouds are in my head.
It's an odd feeling, sitting on a bus, going somewhere you really don't want to go. Minutes seem to drag to hours and you don't seem to be 'getting' anywhere. It seems ridiculous, but I've dreamed of taking bus journeys. Just longing to be anywhere but where I am. I don't know where I want to be, I don't know what I want to do. Yeah, I have dreams and I have plans, but what if I don't get them, or what if they're not what I've built them up to be? Will I feel perpetually lost? I just want to belong somewhere. I thought I had that in Huddersfield, but now i can't stop thinking of leaving. Anywhere. Somewhere I don't have to pretend any more. Where I can leave this last year behind me. This last month has been the best in over a year, but I still want to get away.
I don't know if I'll ever really settle anywhere. maybe that's from being in an airforce family, I don't know. I often wonder what it would feel like to have lived in the same place all my life. Would I be settled there? Would I still want to leave? Is it part of me that won't let me rest? Or will I find somewhere someday? I always seem to want what I'll never have. Why can't I be happy with what I have? I always want more. And I have so much. It just never seems to be enough.
I don't know if I'll ever really settle anywhere. maybe that's from being in an airforce family, I don't know. I often wonder what it would feel like to have lived in the same place all my life. Would I be settled there? Would I still want to leave? Is it part of me that won't let me rest? Or will I find somewhere someday? I always seem to want what I'll never have. Why can't I be happy with what I have? I always want more. And I have so much. It just never seems to be enough.
Monday, February 04, 2008
A stranger's just someone that you've forgotten
My house mate Jessica moved out today. It was pretty sad, but in some ways not because it doesn't feel like she's gone. I know I'll see her soon. She just won't come through the door at 5:30 every night. :(
We went to see a couple of awesome bands last night in Leeds for the Kerrang Tour 2008. One of my favourite bands ever Circa Survive
and another band called Coheed and Cambria. 
They both pretty much blew my socks off! :)
Madina lake and Fightstar played too, but let's just say I'm not either of their biggest fans. Ah well. They both played well though. Apart from the feedback Fightstar almost blew my head off with. :/
I'm ill again too. Yay. Bring on the summer.
We went to see a couple of awesome bands last night in Leeds for the Kerrang Tour 2008. One of my favourite bands ever Circa Survive
and another band called Coheed and Cambria. 
They both pretty much blew my socks off! :)
Madina lake and Fightstar played too, but let's just say I'm not either of their biggest fans. Ah well. They both played well though. Apart from the feedback Fightstar almost blew my head off with. :/
I'm ill again too. Yay. Bring on the summer.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Winter brings the spring again...
It was sunny today, which is nice. It wasn't warm in any way, but sunny :)
I went in to town at 10 to get my next tattoo, but I came away with nothing but a later booking. Rubbish. My appointment was at half past 10, but the guys printer wasn't working, so 11 o'clock came with nothing. It would have been fine had I not been told the day before that I was facing certain death if I was late for a talk from a guy from GL events in Barcelona. Apparently he was going to be taking CV's. Big deal. I don't want to work in Barcelona and I don't want to run pharmaceutical events. I can't imagine anything worse to be honest.
BUT, I left my appointment minus ink, to arrive on time for a guy that didn't show up. *FUMING* He was coming at 2 instead, which was nice and thoughtful of my lecturer to re-arrange. I had booked some meetings at 2 to organise the RAG magazine for the SU, which I subsequently had to postpone. *FUMINGER* And the guy over ran because he liked the sound of his own voice a little too much. He was nice but kept going on and on and oooon. Eugh.
I did however manage to get my friend Rob to help me sort out the front cover for the mag and the layout is being sorted by Jemma. :)
So, all in all a productive day!!
I went in to town at 10 to get my next tattoo, but I came away with nothing but a later booking. Rubbish. My appointment was at half past 10, but the guys printer wasn't working, so 11 o'clock came with nothing. It would have been fine had I not been told the day before that I was facing certain death if I was late for a talk from a guy from GL events in Barcelona. Apparently he was going to be taking CV's. Big deal. I don't want to work in Barcelona and I don't want to run pharmaceutical events. I can't imagine anything worse to be honest.
BUT, I left my appointment minus ink, to arrive on time for a guy that didn't show up. *FUMING* He was coming at 2 instead, which was nice and thoughtful of my lecturer to re-arrange. I had booked some meetings at 2 to organise the RAG magazine for the SU, which I subsequently had to postpone. *FUMINGER* And the guy over ran because he liked the sound of his own voice a little too much. He was nice but kept going on and on and oooon. Eugh.
I did however manage to get my friend Rob to help me sort out the front cover for the mag and the layout is being sorted by Jemma. :)
So, all in all a productive day!!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Uuuuurrrrrrrgggghh
I'm so glad this weekend is over. I officially hate my job. It's not worth the time or money. Which is getting cut soon anyway. Technically illegal but what the hey!! Basically I work 12 hour shifts Friday and Saturday nights, so I get no time off. I have no weekend. But I need the money so I can't give it up, until I find something else at least.
I went out for my birthday on Monday (obviously very belated). It was fun!! We had chinese buffet, then went to Camel club. We went into work too, and I had the worst dirty pint EVER! It had absinthe, tequila, sambuca, jagermeister, vodka etc, about 12 shots worth, topped with champagne and cranberry. *vomits* It was horrendous.
*EVIDENCE*
All in all it was a pretty awesome night. Not everyone came out, but they had good reasons mainly! Dave came out for one, and I think he's gained the 10lbs I lost since we broke up. It was satisfying. And I felt nothing for seeing him, which was strange. Not sure if I'm just numb to it now, or whether it's all just gone. It's a weird feeling but it's such a relief. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not with Dave or whether it's my thyroid treatment kicking in. Either way, it's great!!
So yeah, awesome night Monday.
Then I woke up Tuesday, without a hangover, to this
Silly wabbit!!
My bunnies are ace. They sit on my back and we watch TV together. :)
I'll post more pics later so you can see how adorable they are, but for now I need food.
xx
I went out for my birthday on Monday (obviously very belated). It was fun!! We had chinese buffet, then went to Camel club. We went into work too, and I had the worst dirty pint EVER! It had absinthe, tequila, sambuca, jagermeister, vodka etc, about 12 shots worth, topped with champagne and cranberry. *vomits* It was horrendous.
*EVIDENCE*All in all it was a pretty awesome night. Not everyone came out, but they had good reasons mainly! Dave came out for one, and I think he's gained the 10lbs I lost since we broke up. It was satisfying. And I felt nothing for seeing him, which was strange. Not sure if I'm just numb to it now, or whether it's all just gone. It's a weird feeling but it's such a relief. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not with Dave or whether it's my thyroid treatment kicking in. Either way, it's great!!
So yeah, awesome night Monday.
Then I woke up Tuesday, without a hangover, to this
Silly wabbit!!
My bunnies are ace. They sit on my back and we watch TV together. :)
I'll post more pics later so you can see how adorable they are, but for now I need food.
xx
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Are you dizzy yet?
I've been pretty busy lately, so that is my explanation for the lack of blogging :)
I've had quite a bit of uni work on, though I'm not complaining, it's nice to enjoy it for a change. Last term I just wanted to give up and move to live with my sister, I didn't feel like there was any point in doing anything with out Dave. Glad to say I'm over that now.
I thought it would take longer to get through the breaking up with Dave thing, but I I've come to realise that I may have gotten off lightly. At 21 I was ready to give the rest of my life to that boy. I would literally have done anything for him. Now I can see that we had little in common and he wasn't really passionate about anything the way I am. I have my views on pretty much everything, and he seems to not care about a thing. I might be wrong, but 18 months with him and I still can't think of anything apart from music that he has an passion for. The music thing is good, but he still has no opinions except that this is good or that is bad. He seems to hate everything. I want to be with someone who is as passionate about something as I am about vegetarianism and the environment. It doesn't have to be the same things, just to have a drive to want to do something more with my life. I want to make a difference, however small. I want to be old and be able to say I impacted someone's life in some way.
Anyway. My uni work is grabbing my interest more. For our media this term, we're looking at how people have reacted to the 'chicken/egg' debate. Not which came first :P but whether to eat free range or battery, or not to eat eggs or chicken at all. I think this is something I can really get my teeth into. Finally.
I had lunch today with a new friend I made from the committees I sit on for my students union. I'm the charities officer for this year, so I'm hoping I can begin making a difference through this. I have tons of ideas, I just need people to help me implement them. A girl on my course suggested a sponsored hitch-hike, see how far we can get in 48 hours. I like that idea! Anyway, the lunch. We were supposed to be meeting in our office, but it was lunchtime, so we got coffee and a panini. We pretty much put the world to rights,, it was some of the most stimulating conversation I have had in a while!! About 18 months ;) It was nice to have someone to debate with, that doesn't think you're having a go at them if you express a difference in opinion. We had a good time, we chatted for about 3 hours, and I honestly don't know where that time went!! It was good :)
I'm pretty tired, and I have a presentation to give tomorrow, so I'm going to hit the hay, and expand on things more later. I hope everyone feels as good as I do.
Sweet dreams.
xx
I've had quite a bit of uni work on, though I'm not complaining, it's nice to enjoy it for a change. Last term I just wanted to give up and move to live with my sister, I didn't feel like there was any point in doing anything with out Dave. Glad to say I'm over that now.
I thought it would take longer to get through the breaking up with Dave thing, but I I've come to realise that I may have gotten off lightly. At 21 I was ready to give the rest of my life to that boy. I would literally have done anything for him. Now I can see that we had little in common and he wasn't really passionate about anything the way I am. I have my views on pretty much everything, and he seems to not care about a thing. I might be wrong, but 18 months with him and I still can't think of anything apart from music that he has an passion for. The music thing is good, but he still has no opinions except that this is good or that is bad. He seems to hate everything. I want to be with someone who is as passionate about something as I am about vegetarianism and the environment. It doesn't have to be the same things, just to have a drive to want to do something more with my life. I want to make a difference, however small. I want to be old and be able to say I impacted someone's life in some way.
Anyway. My uni work is grabbing my interest more. For our media this term, we're looking at how people have reacted to the 'chicken/egg' debate. Not which came first :P but whether to eat free range or battery, or not to eat eggs or chicken at all. I think this is something I can really get my teeth into. Finally.
I had lunch today with a new friend I made from the committees I sit on for my students union. I'm the charities officer for this year, so I'm hoping I can begin making a difference through this. I have tons of ideas, I just need people to help me implement them. A girl on my course suggested a sponsored hitch-hike, see how far we can get in 48 hours. I like that idea! Anyway, the lunch. We were supposed to be meeting in our office, but it was lunchtime, so we got coffee and a panini. We pretty much put the world to rights,, it was some of the most stimulating conversation I have had in a while!! About 18 months ;) It was nice to have someone to debate with, that doesn't think you're having a go at them if you express a difference in opinion. We had a good time, we chatted for about 3 hours, and I honestly don't know where that time went!! It was good :)
I'm pretty tired, and I have a presentation to give tomorrow, so I'm going to hit the hay, and expand on things more later. I hope everyone feels as good as I do.
Sweet dreams.
xx
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